


Neuron Incident Report

by wolfhunter777



Category: Astral Chain (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2020-10-20 13:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfhunter777/pseuds/wolfhunter777
Summary: Akira swears that her brother is only getting into these incidents because she is always the one writing these reports. Also, his legions are utter trolls.





	1. Beast Legion

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 16-03-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Harmony Square

I am writing this incident report on behalf of my brother who is currently out of commission after he took a windshield to the face. I still do not know how he survived all these years.

Prior to the incident, my brother and I were patrolling along our normal route in Harmony Square at around 1700 hours when a call came in about an armed robbery. Both of us quickly made our way towards the scene of the crime when we spotted the robbers, three of them with two visibly armed with guns, almost reaching their getaway car.

The robbers spotted us as soon as we arrived and the two visibly armed robbers opened fire at us while the last one began to quickly load the stolen items into the car. We had no choice but to take cover to avoid the attack.

At this point, we both knew that we would not be able to reach the car in time to stop them and thus, we decided to take drastic measures. 

My brother dashed out of his cover and ran towards the criminals while I called out my arrow legion to provide covering fire for him. 

My brother then called out his beast legion and rode on top of it. The criminals stopped firing when my legion's arrows flew past them and blasted the walls behind them. This had allowed my brother to rapidly approach them.

One of the armed robbers opened fire at my brother causing my brother to leap off his legion and into the air. My brother then pulled his chain and his beast legion threw him right at the criminals.

I do not know what my brother had intended to do but it was definitely not this. He hit the front of the criminals' car loud enough that everyone at the scene winced at the impact. The strength of the impact was also strong enough to dent the front of the vehicle. 

My brother slid off the bonnet of the car and fell to the ground groaning in pain while the beast legion sat on the ground and, I swear, I am not making this up, looked really proud of itself.

The robbers did not continue with their assault after that. We were all distracted at that unusual performance of attack from an elite police officer. Well, it was more like the criminals could not stop laughing until more officers finally showed up to take down and arrest all of the criminals.

A medic was called in to the scene to examine my brother. Fortunately, there were no major injuries and my brother walked away with nothing but a big bruise on his chest that I am sure will hurt a lot the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Yeah, this is a short fic. It's gonna be a series of one-shots and not very long too. Just short ones that you can read in a few minutes, get a good laugh and move on. Hope you enjoy it! I'm planning on covering all the legions once the ideas strike me, otherwise, it's just gonna be Beast and Arms legion (yep, Arms is currently being written now).
> 
> Also, co-op is a great way to see shenanigans and write about them.


	2. Arm Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira wants coffee and a vacation.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 08-04-XXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

As I sit here writing this report in the infirmary beside my brother who is being patched up after he crashed through several laser bullet-resistant glass windows, I wonder what I did wrong in my life to deserve this. Do not get me wrong, I love my brother but sometimes, when he pulls off all these stupid stunts, it makes me wonder why he is not dead yet and when he will ever learn to stop making me worry like that. I wonder if his luck makes up for his lack of self-preservation.

Anyway, I have gone off tangent.

The incident occurred around 1130 hours when we were helping to load boxes into the helicopter. We were expected to finish at 1200 hours. As we still had another helicopter to finish loading by that time, it was an impossible task. I went off to inform the officer in-charge of the delay while my brother continued to load the boxes.

At some point, he must have realised the impossibility of completing the task and thus decided to speed up the process with his legion.

He called out his arm legion to carry five boxes in each hand and load it into the helicopter. For once in his life, it was a good idea. He had managed to finish loading the helicopter and was loading the first batch of boxes onto the second helicopter when a strong gust of wind blew and a police drone was blown past him. My brother got surprised and his arm legion reacted by throwing all ten boxes in its arms off the side of the building.

My brother panicked and leaped off the side of the building, dismissing his legion at the same time. This led to everyone on the rooftop to cry out his name in panic as he plummet towards the ground.

I ran to the edge of the roof, ready to leap down myself but I was stopped by an officer before I could take the jump.

The rest of the report had to be written based on the security camera footage and eyewitness accounts.

As my brother was falling to his imminent death, he managed to grab three boxes before fumbling with the bulky items and call out his arm legion. He sent his arm legion through the 53rd floor of the building. 

Yes, through the building, laser bullet-resistant glass windows and all.

His legion smashed through the glass and pulled my brother up to safety. Except, instead of pulling my brother through the rather large hole in the building, my brother slammed into the unbroken side of the building. He smashed through the, need I remind you, laser bullet-resistant glass windows and rolled through the broken glass pieces on the floor while landing.

The supply boxes my brother recovered were unfortunately too damaged to be used and the remaining seven boxes were recovered a few hours later, also far too damaged to be used. None of the supplies were lost and fortunately, no one was hit or otherwise wounded by the falling boxes.

My brother came out of it with multiple lacerations and glass pieces embedded in various parts of his body.

I need a vacation.  
\---  
Re: Incident Report 0804XXXX  
I have approved your annual leave. Alicia and I will take over for you. Enjoy your vacation.

P.S. I left a can of coffee on your desk. Don't forget to take it before you go on your vacation.

~Jin


	3. Axe Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one time Akira made her brother write the report instead of her...

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: <insert date>  
Location of Incident: <insert location>

My sister told me that since I caused an incident again, I should write the report this time. Since I couldn't find where I left my tablet again, I borrowed my sister's one. It's a good thing she saved a report template in her documents.

So the incident took place at 7 in the morning. Maybe 7:15? Anyway, I came in to work and grabbed a can of coffee when I overheard a colleague complaining about a clogged toilet bowl in the male toilets. I guess Marie hasn't come in yet. She would have activated the cleaner bots by now. She tried to show me once but the bot exploded when I tried to use it.

Then I thought, hey, why don't I fix it? Couldn't hurt to try right?

I figured if a good amount of force is applied, it would dislodge whatever is blocking the toilet.

I approached the clogged toilet. Water was leaking out from the sides of the toilet bowl.

I summoned my axe legion and I didn't know why but everyone else in the toilet ran out. Well, that's not important.

When I approached the clogged toilet, my axe legion gave me that look. You know, that look dad always gave us. The this-is-a-stupid-idea-and-you-are-in-so-much-trouble look. The same one he gave when I broke a vase and hid it by covering it with a towel or when my sister secretly brought home a cat and it shredded the couch or when I poured a can of blue paint into the washing machine because I wanted to dye my white shirt blue. Yes, that very same look it is giving to me now as I am writing this report on my sister's tablet. I tried to dismiss it but it keeps summoning itself back.

Where was I? Oh yes, the incident.

I ignored my axe legion and had it set a time bomb in the toilet bowl. I backed off quickly but the time bomb went off faster than I had anticipated. The explosion was also bigger and louder than I remembered. I think I might have blacked out a bit when I hit my head against the wall. I remember getting up from the ground and seeing water and sewage gushing out from the burst pipes. The toilet and door were gone, along with the other stall beside it. Somehow, the stall of the toilet fairy is still standing.

Before you sigh in exasperation, I'll have you know that when the incident occurred, I had yet to drink my coffee so I wasn't really awake yet. Okay, now you can sigh in exasperation and continue to read the report.

I got up, completely soaked in sewage water just like that time I accidentally fell into the sewer when I was sneaking around in the sewer system back when I was a fugitive.

I even had some of it in my mouth! It still tastes as disgusting as ever.

As I exited the area, my sister was waiting outside for me. I didn't notice her because I was trying to get rid of as much liquid as I could. I walked right into her and left a huge stain on her uniform. She looked rather unhappy about that.

She glared at me as I tried to explain the mess. She told me to shut up a few minutes later before closing her eyes and doing various breathing exercises for the next few minutes. I waited for her to finish before she told me that since I caused the incident, I should be the one to write the report this time. She stomped off before I could tell her that I hadn't been able to find my tablet since last month and couldn't write the report. So, I borrowed her tablet that was lying on her desk to write this report.

You know, maybe I should have dried off first before writing this report. The tablet screen is getting sticky from the sewage water.  
\---  
Re: <no title>  
Akira, I don't care how many cans of coffee I have to buy for you or how many favours I'll owe you, please **do not** ever let your brother write any future reports. Thanks.

Also, dispose the tablet as soon as possible. Your replacement tablet is on your desk. Hell, I authorise you to use the flamethrower we kept in the training room.

~Jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the ideas! Keep them coming! I'll get to them eventually.


	4. Sword Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The security personnel of Neuron would never pass up the opportunity to prank the commander.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 01-04-XXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

Sometimes I wonder how my brother saved the world when he pulls off stupid things like this.

The incident occurred at 0830 hours when a mysterious box came in. The security personnel at the entrance had scanned the box and deemed it safe. They had also rewrapped the box in copious amounts of duct tape and left the wrapped box on the commander's table. They did not elaborate on what was in the box but had snickered to themselves when I asked them of the box contents. This immediately raised suspicions.

I stopped the security personnel who delivered the box before he left and attempted to interrogate him about the contents of the box but he merely shrugged before grinning and said, "You'll see."

I went back to the office and called the commander. The commander immediately told me to throw the package out as soon as I mentioned it. She also warned me to be especially wary of today. It was only with the warning that it hit me what the date was today. 

At some point in the conversation, my brother came into the office and noticed the box on the table. I saw him approach the box and inspect it as I ended the call. He tried shaking the box to get a glimpse of the contents inside but there was no sound.

At this point, several officers had gotten up from their seats and were prepared to flee.

I had told him to put the package back so I could dispose of it but he ignored me and summoned his sword legion instead. I had a sense of foreboding when his sword legion entered a stance as my brother place the box back onto the commander's table. 

The entire office emptied out quickly, leaving me alone with my brother and his sword legion.

Before I could stop my brother, his sword legion slashed at the box. The box was sliced in half, along with the commander's table and mission screen on the wall behind the table. There was also a long deep gash along the wall. 

The box then proceed to explode and cover everything in glitter.

I was covered in glitter, my brother was covered in glitter and his sword legion was covered in glitter. The entire office was covered in glitter. There was glitter on the wall, in the carpet, all over the computers and chairs.

I glared at my brother who was staring at the carnage of the glitter-infested office. His sword legion looked rather upset as it dismissed itself.

I did what was necessary, I chewed my brother out. 

However, as I was lecturing my brother, I was interrupted when the commander walked in and saw the state of the office and her table before promptly fainting. I went to provide medical assistance while my brother took the opportunity to flee.

The commander recovered shortly afterwards and several officers had been assigned to hunt my brother down who still remains missing.  
\---  
Re: Incident Report 0104XXXX

I found your brother hiding in a cleaning closet and left him in a holding cell. Don't worry, I'll get him and the security guys downstairs to clean this mess up.

~Jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I too would run away and hide if I accidentally glitter bomb my office.


	5. Arrow Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira is hanging around. Literally. This is most definitely her brother's fault.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 17-09-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Harmony Square

We received multiple eyewitness reports of a 'glowing red figure' wrecking havoc at Harmony Square. As we do not have any physical evidence, we were unable to confirm if the 'red figure' is in fact a chimera. However, it is within reason to assume it to be the case.

As my brother has the most experience fighting chimeras, he has been assigned to handle this case. I have been assigned to, in Alicia's words, babysit my reckless brother.

We spent a total of seven hours searching for the target after arriving at Harmony Square at 1100 hours and were unable to locate the target. However, we have found traces of red matter in several alleyways. Therefore, we can confirm that the target is indeed a chimera. Unfortunately, we were unable to figure out the type of chimera.

Our investigation will resume tomorrow.  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 18-09-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Ark Mall

I am writing this report as I hang from the wall, literally. 

I blame my brother.

My communicator is broken and my brother is fighting a horde of chimeras. He seems to be doing fine at the moment despite the numbers disadvantage.

I will recount the events that had led us to this predicament.

We arrived at Harmony Square at 0900 hours to continue the investigation. My brother traced the source of red matter to Ark Mall. Upon entering the abandoned mall, we found large sources of red matter but no trace of the target. The level of red matter reveal that there is either a large chimera or a large number of them. Either way, we cannot allow the chimera to leave this place.

As we were cleaning up the red matter (my brother insisted), I saw a flash of red in my peripheral. At first, I had thought it was the red matter but when I turn to look, I saw a Diomedes on the second floor.

I shouted out a warning at my brother as the chimera jumped down on top of him. My brother called out his sword legion as he rolled away from the attack. His sword legion slashed at the enemy, only to have its blades knocked away from the intended target by several projectiles from the side. I tried to identify the second enemy but it fled before I could get a look at it.

The Diomedes continued its assault, forcing us to defend ourselves against it. A few more chimeras showed up, leaping down from the second floor that I identified as common variants.

I broke off to engage the common variants while my brother continued to fight the Diomedes.

However, after taking down three chimeras, I was inexplicably thrown against the wall. I had also dropped my weapon when my back collided with the wall. When I recovered from the impact, I had the strangest feeling of being pulled down by gravity. I looked down and saw the floor a few feet down. Looking up, I saw a blue arrow sticking out of my clothes by the shoulder where my communicator was. Thankfully, the arrow had completely missed my flesh.

At first, I had thought that the arrow came from the chimera that shot at my brother's sword legion earlier but that was impossible as the arrow was blue in colour. Looking down at my brother, I saw the look on his face.

The oh-shit-I-am-in-deep-trouble look that I have come to be rather familiar with. That was how I knew my brother was the one who shot that arrow and the reason why I am stuck hanging off this wall.

I tried to free myself by pulling out the arrow but it was wedged in deeply. I tried pulling myself free but my clothes were too resistant for me to tear it free. The arrow itself was also not disappearing like it should, even as my brother swap his legions when he returned his attention back to the battle. I summoned my arrow legion to help me but it looked at me, laughed and dismissed itself. That traitor.

I checked my personal belongings on me and found the tablet. Upon checking the applications however, there was no messaging or calling applications installed on the tablet. Strangely enough, the mall has a Wi-Fi point that I could connect to.

As there was nothing else I could do, I decided to get started on writing the report. My brother seems to have no trouble dispatching the remaining chimeras without my help.

You know, watching my brother fight the chimeras with ease makes me forget what a reckless idiot he is.

Oh, he just took a fist to the face. That is going to bruise tomorrow.

I think his beast legion is crazier than my brother. Must have been Alicia's influence. I am honestly not surprised.

It has been thirty minutes since I have been stuck here and so far, there have been three hordes of chimera that dropped in as well as a ceiling.

My brother finally dispatched all the chimeras in the area. Every single one. He is now coming over to pull me free. I will finish up the report when I return back to headquarters.

Nevermind, my brother knocked himself out on the floor trying to get me free. He got his arm legion to lift him up towards me. He grabbed the arrow and pulled, only for his hand to slip and causing him to fall off his arm legion hands. He hit his head against the ground and is currently unconscious. His arm legion had dismissed itself in that time.

I know I should be worried and head injuries are bad but, as Brenda put it, my brother is remarkably resilient.

Please send help, I don't want to wait hours later for my brother to wake up and free me.  
\---  
Re: Incident Report 1809XXXX

I'm on my way.

~Jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer died so I had to post this on mobile. RIP. Also, all five legions are done! Yay! I can (finally) move on to the requests!


	6. Raining Cats (and Beast)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat cuddle pile is official and Akira is not allowed a say in its creation.

Officer name: Alicia Lopez  
Date of Incident: 21-Sep-XXXX  
Location of Incident: HQ

Oh boy, looks like Max's kids are at it again. I hadn't had such a good laugh since the time Max showed up with his hair pink and covered in glitter. Too bad you missed everything Jin but don't worry, I'll cover everything that you missed. I even got you pictures!

So I was writing yesterday's patrol report while Akira was doing maintenance on her legion when her brother came bursting into the office with his beast legion trailing behind carrying a huge cardboard box.

So I turn to look up at him, everyone did, including Akira. I mean, who wouldn't? He made a huge commotion just coming over. He looked around the office and locked sights at his sister like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet. And that's when everyone heard it. 

A meow coming from the box.

And it ain't just one either!

Akira looked ready to bolt but her legatus is still in the machine. Her brother and his legion was rapidly closing the distance as she's mashing the eject button but the machine was not giving her enough time to grab her legatus and escape. 

Her brother grabbed the box off his beast legion and had his beast legion pin down his sister by leaping on top of her as she grabbed her legatus. The beast legion sat down on Akira when she fell onto the ground. Aw, Beast looked so smug about it. Attagirl!

Akira proceeded to spew profanities while trying to push away the beast legion. Dang, girl's got a mean tongue! I'm so proud of her!

Her brother then dumped the entire box of cats on her and declared to everyone that today is "Akira's Rest Day" before grabbing a chair and sitting down in front of her.

Akira, who has seemingly gave up, picked up a cat who had tumbled off her onto the ground and began to cuddle it while muttering in a low voice of various graphical ways to get back at her brother.

Marie came by later and joined Max's kids to cuddle the cats despite Akira's protests.

Here are the pictures I promised!

Attachments: (156)  
LookAtThatKitty.png  
AkiraCuddlePile.png  
MarieAndHerCats.png  
BeastCuddlingCat.png  
(+152 others)  
\---  
Re: Guess what Jin?

Alicia, please stop encouraging Max's kids. Especially his son. Don't encourage Marie either. And stop using the reporting application to send me pictures.

~Jin  
\---  
Re: Re: Guess what Jin?

You say that but I know you downloaded and looked at every single one of those pictures. Also, I wouldn't be sending this through the reports if you didn't ignore my emails!

P.S. Can you print some of the photos? I want to frame a few of them.  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Guess what Jin?

Maybe if you didn’t spam my inbox with a hundred emails last April Fools, I wouldn’t be ignoring your emails!

Any particular picture or do you want me to pick?

~Jin  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: Guess what Jin?

38, 86, 91, 120 and a copy of whichever ones you are printing. Thanks Uncle Jin!  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Guess what Jin?

You are not allowed to call me that ever again.

I'll pass those photos and frames to you tomorrow.

~Jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (V01Dsw0rd) Idea for Beast Legion: interacting with all the stray Cats - possibly the ones Marie gathers... if it ended with the CATS coming out on top, even funnier!
> 
> Hey so, it's not exactly what you wanted (I think?) but I want my cat cuddle pile and I want Akira to have a break from all of her brother's shenanigans.


	7. Down to a T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neuron HQ is haunted according to civilians. Akira thinks it's only haunted when you want to make people leave.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 20-01-XXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

I am not sure why I have to write an incident report. I mean, was there even an incident? Does today's events count as an incident? Today has been pretty tame so far compared to how the other incidents went.

The incident took place at 1300 hours on the front entrance level of Neuron Headquarters. The team (the team is made up of just my brother and I but the commander insisted we call it a team so we would not be reminded of our declining workforce) were having a meeting in one of the meeting rooms on the fourth floor when Alan burst into the room and told us that someone was harassing Marie at the entrance and needed numbers to intimidate the person into stopping.

I wanted to inform Alan that intimidating civilians into submission, as much as I enjoy it on occasion, is not how a police officer should handle things but my brother immediately said that he would handle it before leaving the meeting room. Alan and I followed after my brother to the lobby.

As soon as we exited the elevator, I could hear a man shouting. We quickened our pace and when we arrive, it was to a man in civilian attire shouting at Marie who was tearing up. Two officers had placed themselves between the two and were attempting to get the civilian to stand down.

As I was about to step forward to assist my colleagues, my brother stopped me before going forward himself. He stepped between the civilian and Marie, ignoring the civilian demanding to know who he is. The two officers who had originally confronted the civilian had backed away and joined the peanut gallery watching the incident unfold.

Then, my brother struck a pose.

Remember when the training room was bugged during a joint training session with Alan and the enemies spawned in a 'T-pose' (as Alan told me later after both him and my brother had finally stopped laughing)? My brother stuck his hands out in exactly that pose and completely ceased all movements. If I had not looked closely, I would have assumed my brother had stopped breathing. It would not have been the first time he did that for a prank.

Speaking of that training session, Alan seem to have bonded very well with my brother afterwards.

Anyway, I could hear Alan beside me trying his best not to laugh and failing. A few officers in the vicinity were also trying to snuff out their laughters.

The civilian just looked confused and demanded to know what my brother was doing.

My brother continued to ignore the man and discreetly summon his arm legion. His arm legion appeared with a roar and floated closer to my brother, unbeknownst to the civilian who was starting to get angrier as my brother continued to ignore him.

The arm legion wore itself around my brother, covering him in a suit of armor while my brother continued to remain in his current pose.

When my brother proceed to float several feet off the ground, the man screamed.

Around me, I heard several arm legions crying out as they were summoned. When I turn to look at the sources of the noise, I saw several Neuron officers doing the exact pose as my brother while wearing the arm legion as armor and floating several feet off the ground.

The other officers without arm legions ran away to release their laughter while Alan hid behind me and fell to the ground laughing.

The civilian screamed louder and fled the building while screaming about haunted police stations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not in fact a Halloween chapter. There will not be a Halloween chapter. And there is in fact a secret meme club in Neuron.  
\---  
Original prompt: (Adamthepyromancer)  
(Also may I request using the legions to T pose through the office? Like using that ability with the arms legion that lets you float but you're in a t pose and you t pose Alan into a corner or something)
> 
> Close enough I guess?


	8. King of the Item Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything that can be taken is now Beast Legion's property. Akira just wants her stuff back.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 15-02-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Harmony Square

My team was sent out to investigate the alarming number of stolen item reports that mostly came from Harmony Square. As some of the reports had mentioned a glowing creature, I suspect that a chimera is behind all these. However, why would a chimera need a hundred missing paper and cloth?  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 18-02-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Harmony Square

Subsequent investigations reveal that the chimera was not just stealing items, it was picking up trash from the ground too. I still do not see what a chimera would need empty aluminium cans for.  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 20-02-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

I have confirmed that the chimera was not just stealing at Harmony Square. It seems that the chimera has been stealing from many places including the headquarters. The only reason I found out that the chimera has been stealing from the headquarters is because all the cushions have disappeared overnight. 

All of them.

Alicia has been complaining of back aches ever since she came in.  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 21-02-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

For some inexplicable reason, half of the stolen cushions were returned overnight. 

The investigation of the thief’s identity is still ongoing.  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 22-02-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

The rest of the cushions were returned overnight. 

My cushion is still missing and I'm getting a back ache.  
\---

Officer name: Marie Wentz  
Date of Incident: 25/02/XXXX  
Location of Incident: Headquarters

It's a tragedy! A disaster! Lappy is missing! He's been dognapped!  
\---  
Officer name: Kay Watson  
Date of Incident: 26-Feb-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron HQ

Someone stole my favourite pen! How am I supposed to do my paperwork now?  
\---  
Officer name: Ted Garcia  
Date of Incident: 02/28/XXXX  
Location of Incident: HQ

SOMEONE STOLE MY PROTOTYPE EXPLOSIVES! GIVE IT BACK!  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 01-03-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

All of the cushions are gone again. Mine was never returned.  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 02-03-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

Now my chair is gone!  
\---  
Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 04-03-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

I found the thief. More specifically, I found my brother sleeping on a makeshift throne of stolen cushions in one of the empty rooms on the 18th floor in headquarters. I also found his beast legion tearing apart an aluminium can beside my brother as it sat upon a pile of random objects, mainly more aluminium cans, stationary, leaflets and Marie's mascot suit. My chair was tossed aside in a corner, completely torn to pieces while surrounded by shredded papers and cloths.

My brother told me that his beast legion liked chewing into aluminium cans so he gathered them during his patrols. Unfortunately, he lacked space in the office so he looked around until he found an empty room in headquarters and dumped the cans in there and released his beast legion to play with them.

His beast legion then tried copying my brother and began taking everything not nailed down. My brother had tried to return everything and stop his beast legion from stealing but the habit was too hard to break. He had wanted to return all the cushions (after his beast legion stole them again) but he got tired midway and took a break. After his routine patrol, he had intended to return the rest of the stolen items but fell asleep on top of the cushion pile and only woke up when I found him.

I had to help him return some of the stolen items. Not all of them because the beast legion refused to get off the hoard beneath it. My brother tried dismissing his beast legion but it keeps summoning itself back.

Also, when Billy tried to take back his stolen tablet under the beast legion, the beast legion bit his hand and has yet to release its hold on Billy’s hand.  
\---  
Re: Incident Report 0403XXXX

Firstly, thanks for your hard work Akira. Your brother will be facing disciplinary actions for his legion’s misconduct.

Secondly, please do not use the incident reporting system to file your missing items report.

Lastly, Marie, Kay and Ted, why did you send your reports to me? I'm not your commanding officer!

~Jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (Souhai_Eatery) Here's an idea for the Astral Chain story: Beast legion the kleptomaniac
> 
> I always imagine Beast legion to look smug as it creates chaos whether directly or indirectly.


	9. Neuron Fashion War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira thinks that her brother is only partially at fault this time.
> 
> Her brother disagreed of course.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 11-04-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

As I write this report from a supply closet, I could not help but wonder if perhaps this time, my brother is only to be partly blame for this incident. I mean, he did kind of indirectly started the whole thing. 

He vehemently disagreed with me on that but I could not show my unamused expression to him because the location we are currently in is too tight for me to turn my head to look at him face to face.

The incident started around 1200 hours when most of the officers are currently on break for lunch. My brother was doing maintenance on his legion when I noticed that he had changed the colour scheme of his arrow legion from the default colours to black-red theme. When I asked about it, he said that he was starting to forget and wanted to remember.

I was unsure of the implications behind it but he looked sad so I did not want to comment further about it. I was about to walk away when Alan came by and said that my brother had horrible taste in colours and proceed to commandeer the machine to show off his sword legion in a rather, in my opinion, distasteful neon green and purple theme.

Avery then came running over and kicked Alan away, commenting about how bad the green clashed with the purple and showed off her beast legion.

Avery's beast legion is completely brown. Exactly the same brown as her hair. There was no other colour, just brown.

Shizu then appeared out of nowhere from behind, scaring Avery away from the machine as she showed her arms legion in a white and pale-green theme. She said that pale-green is the colour of ghosts and looked happy when saying it.

The three of them started quarrelling over the colour schemes and drew other officers into their argument.

At some point, my brother had walked away and came back with a can of coffee in his hand. He took a long sip out of the can as he watched the argument slowly escalating. I was tempted to do the same when I saw an object fly in my peripheral vision.

I do not know who threw the pen but that was the catalyst that started everything.

People started getting physical, legions were summoned, weapons were being drawn over the cacophony of shouting over which colours were better.

My brother and I retreated to another floor when a misfired projectile hit the wall beside us.

However, upon our arrival, we realised that the fighting had spread to this floor. We retreated when an arm legion (covered in polka-dots) threw an officer past us.

My brother pulled me into an empty room to escape. It gave us enough time to take a breather but we were forced to leave when a pink sword legion smashed through the ceiling with a red and blue axe legion.

As we ran down the hallway, we saw an officer in a Lappy mascot costume appear from around the corner followed by a rainbow-coloured beast legion. I pulled my brother into the first opened doorway and shut the door as the officer in the mascot costume ran by screaming.

We took another quick breather as I took stock of the new environment. However, I could only manage a quick glance when arrows flew through the walls and pierced the digital screen behind my brother. We quickly fled from the room and that was how we found ourselves in the supply closet.

The door to the supply closet had locked on us when we shut the door. My brother had made several attempts to unlock the door but nothing worked. My brother had considered using his X-baton to break down the door but he did not have the space to attempt swinging his baton nor did he tried firing due to the risk of hitting me if the bullet ricochet. Also, we could still hear fighting outside and do not wish to get drawn into it.

Good thing I installed solitaire ever since the last time I found myself stuck due to reasons beyond my control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (JoRo12) How about a time where one of the Howards (since this is Post-Game, it could be any other Neuron member...I think?) forgets their Legatus which is still inside the machine as they go to the toilet or get coffee or whatever… And in the mean time, their Legions try on some new looks by themselves? Almost like a fashion contest...But since the Legatus would be inside the machine...In a way, everyone (at least every Legionis) would be able to see them play around with all the different color combinations and shenanigans from within the maintenance unit?
> 
> I will have you know that I don't actually remember most of the npc officers in the game. You have to thank the wiki for the officer names in all the chapters.


	10. Spick and Span

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira wonders if her brother is irresponsible or his irresponsibility is derived from letting his legions walk all over him.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 08-11-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Ark Mall

I have been watching my brother's sword legion clean up the red matter for the past three hours and it is still at it. We have yet to move from the entrance. I got bored and decided to get started on the report.

We entered Ark Mall at 0800 hours after receiving an emergency report of a chimera attacking a group of teenagers. The teenagers were red shifting when we arrived and my brother managed to halt it with his sword legion. We escorted the civilians out of the building before returning to the location of the incident.

We were unable to locate the chimera in our immediate vicinity. I wanted to proceed further inside but my brother's sword legion came out on its own and started clearing the red matter with haste and...enthusiasm? It looked really happy cleaning up the red matter.

I tried arguing about the necessity of finding the unknown chimera but my brother's sword legion roared loudly close to my face before going back to cleaning up the red matter. I looked at my brother who just shrugged his shoulders in a 'what can you do' way.

My brother then sat down on a piece of debris and watched his sword legion do its work. 

He is so irresponsible!

I decided to at least investigate the area to see if I can find any clues to the type of chimera that we might be facing.

Initial findings point to the culprit being a beast type chimera. However, the amount of evidence to confirm my hypothesis is still lacking and we are still unable to proceed onwards an hour later.

I tired going ahead by myself but my brother's sword legion wrapped its chain around me to tie me up. My brother told me as I lay on the ground wrapped up in chains that he tried to recall back his sword legion once when it refused to move away from the patch of red matter to catch a thief, he got wrapped up in chains.

When I asked why did he not warn me, he asked if I would have warned him if my arrow legion did the same thing.

I did not reply to him. To be honest, I would have watched too.

That aside, I had to wait a few minutes for the chains to break away by itself. Once the chains had broken, I took a seat beside my brother and watched his sword legion do its work.

But three hours! Three hours that I could have used to find the chimera! My brother took a nap after two hours and have yet to wake up and sword chimera has been going over the same corrupted patch of ground since half an hour ago. I tried telling my brother's sword legion that it would not be able to clean up that red matter embedded deep in the ground but it just roared loudly at me.

I'm going to go play solitaire.

It has been five hours since our arrival and I'm hungry. I did not pack lunch because I thought that it would have been an hour's mission at most. This is all my brother's fault. I wonder if his sword legion will let me leave to buy food.

It turns out, my brother packed food. I have no idea where he stowed them on his body. He was not carrying any noticeable baggage since we left headquarters.

My brother went back to his nap after our quick (and very late) lunch. It is nearing three now and his sword legion has commenced digging to get to the red matter located deep inside the concrete floor.

I woke up from my nap at 1734 hours. The patch of red matter that was embedded deep into the floor has been cleaned up and there is now a noticeable sized hole in the floor where the red matter had once been. My brother's sword legion has moved on to another patch of red matter that is also embedded deep into the floor. I decided to take a risk and leave Ark Mall to buy us dinner.

Thankfully, my brother's sword legion had not noticed my leave and I was able to procure food. When I returned, his sword legion was still attempting to clean up the red matter.

I took a seat down beside my brother just as the glass barrier on the second floor shattered and the target chimera jumped off. As it was approaching us, before we could react to its appearance, my brother's sword legion slammed its blade into it and sent it flying back where it came from. My brother's sword legion roared loudly in the direction of where that chimera was thrown before resuming cleaning up the red matter.

I asked my brother if that was a normal occurrence, to which he replied that it was.

As the target has been eliminated, I have returned to headquarters to finish the rest of the report. My brother had elected to remain at Ark Mall (not of his own violation) so as to finish the red matter cleanup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: (typoking1107) First: The Sword Legion has started to become a bit of a neat-freak when it comes to cleaning up red matter and blue-shifting people. To the point of being more concerned with cleaning up a large patch of red matter or blue-shifting a civilian than fighting off a bunch of chimeras in the middle of a fight. (I was inspired by that one side-mission in File 7 with the red-shifting cop. You know the one.)


	11. In Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People want many things. The commander wants her officers to stop destroying headquarters (again). Jin wants the Howard twins to behave for once. Akira wants her brother to stop being an idiot when opportunity presents itself. The arm legion just wants to hug everyone.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: <insert date>  
Location of Incident: <insert location>

Akira is currently indisposed at the moment so I guess I'm writing the report. I can't tell if she's upset about me finding her tablet to write the report (again) or because it's my fault (again) that she's stuck like this right now. Or maybe she's upset because of both. That seems about right.

Akira also said something about context for the report. I'm not sure writing this report in front of her is a good idea anymore. 

Anyway, context!

Today is kinda special I guess. Not in a good way either. It's been a year now. Everyone has moved on or at least tries to, I'm trying but sometimes it gets to me. I guess everyone sensed my negative aura or something but no one's been giving me crap about anything. Jin didn't comment about my bad combat results, Akira didn't nag me about my nonexistent reports as usual and Alisa and Marie gave me a hug. Today was nice.

I was taking my lunch break on the roof, just wanted to get away from everyone for awhile. I was still sad about everything. I guess my beast legion felt my emotions because it came out and let me hug it. That was nice.

When I stop moping to myself, it licked me (to assure me that everything will be fine I guess) before dismissing itself. My arm legion came out after that. It made a sound of confusion and I took it that it wanted to know what was wrong. I tried explaining the significance of the date but I didn't know what or how to put them into words so I just said to it, "Hugs are nice."

It nodded to me in understanding before giving a hug (a really tight one) before dismissing itself and I thought that would be the end of that so how would I have known it would escalate to this?

Akira says that my legions tend to jump to their own conclusions quite often and is also willing to follow my stupidity all the way through.

I should have left my sister to her fate.

Akira pointed out the chain that binds me to my arm legion embracing her. So I corrected: I would have left my sister to her fate if it weren't for these chains!

Ahem, moving on, I think my legions have some sort of social media or communication network with the other legions in HQ. When I left the roof after lunch a few minutes later, I came down to see officers being chased down by their arm legions. Those who were caught were being hugged, tightly. I think a few of them passed out already.

As I was about to turn tail and run, Marie, I mean Lappy came crashing into me as she was being chased by an arm legion. The officer of the arm legion was being dragged along on the ground. The arm legion caught Lappy as she scrambled off me (trampling my back as she got off) and hugged her tightly. Good thing the mascot costume is thick to protect Marie from being crushed to death. The officer who was being dragged along had already fainted. 

I made my escape while the arm legion was distracted by Lappy. Don't worry Marie! I will never forget your sacrifice!

Akira says that I have to inform you that Marie is not in fact dead, so consider yourself informed.

Shut up sis! I'm going to be passive aggressive as long as you keep telling me how and what to write in the report!

I should have left my sister to deal with this instead of being a nice brother and write this report for her.

Okay fine, I admit that it was partly my fault so shut up sis!

So back to where I was, I made my escape and crash into an arm legion. I staggered back from the impact and the arm legion grabbed me before hugging me tightly.

As I was being squeezed to death, my arm legion came out and punched the arm legion in the face. The arm legion dropped me and a brawl broke out between the two arm legions. I crawled away but couldn't get away from the two legions due to the chains connecting my legion to the legatus.

I pulled out my baton, ready to defend myself just as my arm legion picked up the other arm legion. The result dragged the officer of the arm legion out from the corner by the chain as my arm legion lifted the other up high. It promptly threw the other arm legion through the wall. The officer followed (not of his violation) through the newly formed hole in the wall and my arm legion dusted its hands like it just took out the trash.

My arm legion dismissed itself and I returned my weapon to my holster, only to be tackled from behind. I fell to the ground with my assailant and was pinned under the person's body. The assailant turned out to be my sister who then got off my body before growling out, "What did you do this time?"

How rude, it's not my fault all the time! It's only most of the time!

Anyway, I got up from the ground but before I could answer her, an arm legion appeared around the corner and roared in delight at the sight of us. I grabbed my sister's hand and we both fled with the arm legion on our tail, its officer was screaming loudly in fear as she was dragged along.

I called out my sword legion to stop the arm legion. My sword legion came out and slashed at the arm legion, only for the arm legion to dodge the attack and grab my sword legion into a hug. I was pulled back by my chain and I fell backwards onto the ground. Akira fell with me as I pulled her down.

As both of us were scrambling to get up, my sword legion broke free from the arm legion's hold and slashed at it, forcing it to dismiss itself from the damage. Akira and I fled the scene after I dismissed my sword legion.

Random officer with an arm legion, we will never forget your sacrifice!

We ended up hiding in the locker room and we both locked and barricaded the door. Akira sat down on the ground, leaning against a locker as she took a breather from running. I sat down against the lockers and leaned against her. That's when my arm legion decided to make itself known. It summoned itself and looked at Akira while making a roar of delight. Akira tried to flee but she tripped over me and my arm legion grabbed her in the process before hugging her tightly. When I attempted to dismiss my legion, my arm legion wrapped me up with the chain using one hand.

So here we are, the Howard twins, one being tightly hugged to death by an arm legion and the other bound in chains. At least my hands are still free!

Akira wants me to remind you that she is not dead yet.

Then Akira dropped her tablet in front of me. I picked it up, unlocked it and started writing the report. Sis made a lot of noise of disapproval about it but she ultimately gave up.

So I guess I finished the report. What should I write about now? Oh I know! I can write embarrassing stuff about my sister like the good brother I am!

Did you know that when Akira was 7, she had a princess phase? Dad was forced to come to work with splatters of pink paint and glitter on his hair. Also when Akira washfhifjmgj  
\---  
To: Jin Wong  
From: Akira Howard  
Title: Important!

Please disregard the previous report. I will send you the correct report by the end of today.  
\---  
Re: Important!

Alright, let me know if you need an extension. 

Also, the commander wants to let you know that everyone involved will be billed the repair fees for headquarters. Again. She will send out an email to everyone later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (typoking1107) Arm Legion hugs. That is all.


	12. Hobbyist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira wonders if her brother would have ever told her that he was friends with a criminal if she had never found out by herself.
> 
> Also, his sword legion collects trading cards.
> 
> Akira is not paid enough for this.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 17-05-XXXX  
Location of Incident: District 09

Neuron received a report on an illegal goods exchange. As the information we received also mentioned that one of the illegal goods being exchanged is a report on chimera behaviour, I was assigned to the case.

Alicia has been assigned to be my partner for the duration of this mission as my brother was unavailable. All attempts at contacting him had failed.

We arrive at District 09 at 0900 hours and upon our arrival, I saw my brother making his way through the area swiftly. I felt suspicious about his actions and decided to tail him. I reasoned to Alicia that my brother might be involved in the illegal goods exchange (judging by his track record of trouble always finding him) and Alicia followed me without complaint as we made our way through without getting ourselves noticed by my brother.

When my brother stopped at an open clearing, we hid behind a metal shack, just in time to hide from my brother's eyes as he glanced in our general direction.

Alicia commented about how this feels like being in one of those spy movies.

Ignoring Alicia for now, I took a peek at my brother to find him napping on his beast legion.

Having much experience with my brother's behaviour, I leaned against the metal shack and took out my tablet and started writing the report. Alicia sat beside me and took a nap too. The weather is nice today, maybe I should have taken a nap instead. I will finish up the report later.

It is currently 1100 hours and my brother woke up from his nap to play with his arm legion. Playing entails picking up one of the dumpsters in the vicinity, tossing it high into the air and attempting to catch it. So far, he has broken three dumpsters and found medicine, the exact same type of medicine from our field items. Firstly, why are there valuable medicine from Neuron in the dumpster? Secondly, how did it end up in the dumpster? In District 09?!?

It has been 45 minutes and Alicia has complained 22 times about being bored and so far, nothing has happened. My brother has ran out of dumpsters to destroy and is currently having a (one-sided) conversation with his sword legion.

My brother is friends with a crime lord. My brother is friends with a goddamn crime lord. Alicia is not helping by laughing at the scene.

When we saw a person approached my brother, I ran out of cover with Alicia with our legions out. I had feared for my brother's safety when I recognised the person on the criminal database but I was not expecting my brother to step between us and defend him.

And that was how I found out that my brother is friends with a crime lord.

My brother was impressed that his friend got promoted to crime lord. He was never promoted! He had always been a crime lord! The criminal even had the gall to give me a thumbs up when I said that.

When I asked my brother what he was doing with Kyle (the crime lord also infamously known as the leader of the Hermits), he said that they had a planned meetup to exchange goods. When I inquired further, my brother explained to me that he had ordered a rare Lappy trading card (his sword legion had started collecting them) from Kyle in exchange for videos of his beast legion doing dumb things. 

Who verified the tip-off? How did they think that videos of a beast legion chasing its tail are highly classified reports of chimera behaviour?

My brother had also asked me not to attempt arresting his friend yet as the violin he ordered for his arrow legion would only arrive next week.

I am not paid enough for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (ptl) And how about the other Legions having hobbies? Like Arm body-building, Arrow playing the violin, Sword dramatically fencing like Íñigo Montoya, and Axe... I don't know but maybe it would have some bizarre tastes that Max would probably have had when alive.
> 
> Kyle is one of my favourite characters in Astral Chain. Too bad he played a really minor role in the game.


	13. Picture Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira thinks that her brother needs a better hobby. Anything would be better than taking pictures of chimeras lunging at your face.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 30-07-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Ark Mall

As I sit here with my brother's axe legion giving that disappointed look at my brother as he's getting his injuries treated, I wonder if maybe he was born with a few screws loose. Why on earth would you take a picture of a chimera that was about to maul your face off? And standing directly in front of it too! 

My brother's axe legion went from 'I am disappointed in you' to 'I hope you learned your lesson' before ending off with its 'who am I kidding, of course you did not' look. I'm inclined to agree with it.

The incident took place around 1800 hours at Ark Mall. We were patrolling the place after several reports of gang activities in the area. However, we were unable to find any evidence of the fact and were about to depart from the place when a large serpent chimera (identified as Hydra) tunneled out from under our feet. We sprang away from the spot when we felt the tiles shift before the chimera appeared.

I dived behind some fallen rubble when the chimera charged towards me. My brother had called out his sword legion and began shooting at it with his pistol while his sword legion slashed at its body. His actions drew the chimera's attention away from me, giving me time to call out my legion. We killed the chimera when my brother succeeded in binding the chimera with his chains, letting me finish it off with a charged arrow attack.

As we took a quick breather, the ground shook violently before several serpent chimeras appeared from underground (identified Echidna, Ladon and Lamia). There were too many enemies, far too many for the both of us to handle at the same time. As I was about to order a retreat (so I could call for backup), my brother squealed. I'm not kidding. He squealed like a kid who entered a candy store for the first time and exclaimed, "I don't have that one yet!"

Then, I'm not joking here, turn his IRIS system on to take a picture of Echidna just as all the chimeras charged towards him. I heard the sound effect of a shutter going off (why did he leave the sound effect on), before the grunt of pain as he was slammed into the wall by the chimeras. A Lamia then slammed its tail onto my brother, breaking the wall behind him and throwing him into the next room. I took the opportunity at that time to bind and kill off the Ladons in that time. However, this drew the attention of the remaining chimeras to me.

A Lamia lunged towards me and I parried the attack. I dodged the Echidna who had snuck behind me, its jaws scraped me from the right. I was quickly being surrounded by the chimeras. A Lamia opened its jaws, preparing to attack, there was a flash of light at the corner of my eye before my brothers arm legion flew out of the hole where my brother crashed through and grab a Lamia by the tail. The arm legion then spun and threw the chimera and it flew into the wall while the other chimeras turn to attack the arm legion. I took the opportunity to escape the circle of chimeras and pull out my arrow legion to open fire at the enemies. I managed to take out two Lamias but there was still three more of them and the Echidna was still in pristine condition.

As I was about to engage the Echidna, there was a loud whoop of joy as Alicia came over riding on her beast legion. She leapt off her beast legion and her beast legion attacked the Echidna. With Alicia's help, we managed to finish off the remaining chimeras. After ensuring that the area is cleared, we decided to leave the building so that we can call in backup for a full cleanup. Alicia told me that my brother had requested for backup and she happened to be the closest.

My brother then proceed to delightfully show off his new picture of an Echidna and inform me about his broken arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write this one before I continue with the requests.


	14. Doppelganger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira realises that Marie is a force to be reckon with.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 29-10-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

Did someone angered Marie today? Also, when did she get a legion?

I was at the training room at 0800 hours setting up the training program for the new officers who are transferring to Neuron today. I was suppose to partner up with Alan but he called in sick at the last minute. I was told however, that someone else would be substituting for him. Marie came in at 0820 hours in her favourite Lappy mascot suit. We chat for a bit, albeit one-sidedly. Marie just nodded or shook her head. Still, the conversation was the perfect thing I needed. It took away any nervousness I had about training the new officers for the first time.

The new officers showed up at 0900 hours, a few of them snickered at the sight of Marie in the mascot suit. Ignoring them for now, I went to start up the training program to see how the recruits fare physically. 

The results were rather disappointing.

As I was informing them of their flaws, one of them interrupted me to rudely tell me off about the difficulty of the program. The other recruits began shouting their complaints about the unfairness of the program. There were also several rude comments about my gender too. I was about to step forward to shut them up when Marie stopped me by the shoulder and stepped forward instead. She pointed at the console before taking out her X-baton and entered a combat stance. 

I was hesitant to start up the program for Marie but Marie insisted. The newbies stood outside the training room to watch, a few of them outright laughing. Jin, I sincerely hope that you will be sending them back to the police academy. Their behaviour is a disgrace.

I started up the training program again. And wow, if someone had told me about Marie clearing the training program like it was nothing while wearing her prized mascot suit, I would have thought they had mistaken Marie for my brother had I not witnessed the spectacle of Marie beating up the dummy chimeras in a Lappy mascot suit. She cleared it in less than a minute, beating the previous record of a minute and twelve seconds. The newbies were all standing there shocked until one of them accused Marie of cheating. The rest of them started accusing her as well.

One of the cadets entered the training room. I’m not sure what he was thinking but him entering the training room was enough to make Marie’s sword legion summon itself (seriously, when did she get a legion). The sword legion roared and slammed the cadet out of the training room, knocking him out.

Two of the cadets screamed and fled, the others either fell to the ground screaming or pull out their training batons and enter a combat stance. Some of them have good instincts but that does not excuse their behaviour.

Marie pacified her sword legion by stroking its head (like a dog, all it is missing is a tail) and dismissing it.

One of them who fell to the ground got up and started shouting at Marie about how she was bullying them. Marie just stared at the cadet before gesturing to him to 'come get it'. Before I could stop them, all the remaining cadets rushed into the training room towards Marie with their training weapons drawn and Marie took them all down with a single move each without taking more than five steps from her current position.

Since when has Marie been so cool? I think I'm going to join her fanclub later.

Anyway, the cadets were subdued and I had to get several officers to put them into the holding cells. The ones who fled were tracked down and placed in Meeting Room A in the 37th floor. Alicia is with them at this time of the report.

P.S. I have attached the performance report of all the cadets in a separate email for your review.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (Metalocelot98) Mistaken identity
> 
> Lappy is probably the true final boss of this game.


	15. Neuron Pop Quiz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira learns that saving the world is not a freebie.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: 01-09-XXXX  
Location of Incident: Neuron Police Headquarters

How does my brother know so many important people and how is it that every single one of them owed him a favour that he can pull this off? Rather, what on earth is he thinking!?

His actions confound me sometimes.

Somehow, my brother managed to convert the only auditorium in Neuron headquarters into a setup for a quiz variety show. And he managed to set everything up overnight.

The worst part about the whole thing is that the commander allowed this to happen because she owed my brother a favour. The least she could have done was to show up so she could suffer with us! What happened to the term 'comrade-in-arms'?

Back to the report, I came in at 0600 hours. I had come in earlier than my usual time because I had yet to finish the report from yesterday's patrol and was planning on finishing it today before lunch. Upon my arrival to the entrance of headquarters, I found Joey arguing with the guards while his partner stood behind him. A few other Neuron officers were at the scene as well, standing to the sides as they watched Joey argue with the guards.

As I approached the group, Sarah noticed me and tapped Joey on the shoulder. Joey ceased his rant midway as he turned to face me. His mood changed and a look of relief appeared on his face when he noticed me. Immediately, I knew that my brother was involved in this.

Joey happily provided details of what was going on:

"I came in today at my usual time for morning patrol and the guards stop us from entering! Told us that no one is allowed entry and refuse to tell us why. I saw your brother though, he wasn't barred from entering so whatever is up with the guards today is related to him. Fix this Akira! I'm gonna head out and grab breakfast with my partner."

I'm not sure what I was supposed to be fixing and Joey did not give me anymore information before he left the scene with his partner. I approached the guards to obtain more information but they only told me that I am not allowed entry into the premise.

I had tried contacting the commander but the calls would not connect. I tried contacting my superior officer too but he was not picking up any of my calls. Out of options, I decided to try breaking into headquarters.

Jin, do not lecture me on this. Dad always said that if you lost the keys to the house and the fingerprint scanner is broken, either call him, you or Alicia. If none of them pick up the call, it's fine to break in. The same applies here. I tried the legal route, you can't fault me for resorting to the illegal one.

I walked out of the premise to give the illusion that I had given up before circling around, out of the guards' sights, to the side of the building where the dispatch gates were.

My brother had shown me once that if you disconnect a wire from one of the outer panels, you can disable the electric gate to enter the building. There is then a one minute gap from disconnecting the wire before the gate comes back up and becomes permanently locked on both sides until the maintenance crew comes by to fix it. Before you ask, I did inform the technicians about the flaw but they said they were aware of it when my brother took out all the dispatch gates except for one at the same time with that method. Everyone had to queue to use the remaining gate. They reasoned that no one was insane enough to use that method (probably because of the high risk of decapitation if you fail to make it through) but here we are.

I entered headquarters just as the gate went up behind me. Thankfully, the garage was empty of people. The next thing on my mind was that I needed to be armed. I figured that there was a reason why we were denied entry and if so, I needed to be prepared if the building was compromised. I went over to where my brother's bike was and opened up the hidden compartment he added in to retrieve his backup X-baton. Weapon in hand, I needed to get my legion next.

I took the stairs instead of the elevator. If the building had been compromised, by internal or external factors, it would be best to avoid the elevator even if it meant walking over fifty flights of stairs. That was until I walked up twenty flights of stairs and wondered if it was worth it to take a risk and use the elevator. In the end, it did not matter as three hermits ambushed me on the 27th floor. They entered the stairwell and opened fire at me as soon as they saw me. I took cover behind the railings and moved down to avoid their line of sight.

I fired back whenever I could but we were stuck in a stalemate and neither of us could advance to take down the other party. As I was thinking up plans on how to move forward, I was yanked away from my spot as an arm legion grabbed me by the shoulder. I was pulled through the air and the arm legion hugged me tight to prevent me from moving before dragging me down the stairs and through the door leading to the 26th floor. Hal stood beside my brother, both of them looking apologetic before my brother went forward to take away my weapon and blindfolded me.

I tried many ways to obtain information from my brother as he used his arm legion to carry me but every single one of my inquiries were met with a variant of an apology. Eventually, my brother removed the blindfold and made his arm legion throw me (literally) into the holding cell before locking the entrance.

"Sorry sis, I put way too much effort on this so I can't let you stop me. I left your tablet with you so you won't get bored. Don't bother contacting the commander or Jin, they gave me their permission after all."

He left as soon as he said that. If I had not already known what had happened at the time I started the report, I would have thought that my brother had joined the hermits and turned into a criminal.

With nothing else to do, I took out my tablet. The commander and Jin were still ignoring my calls, messages and emails.

A few rounds of solitaire and Hal's drone came over. It stopped in front of the entrance of the holding cell and projected a live video feed on the wall.

My brother came on-screen and spoke to me. "Hey sis, thought you might be getting bored and since preparations are done, figured you might be interested in what I'm planning."

It really irks me to admit that my brother made for a very convincing and terrifying criminal.

The view changed to an angled view in the auditorium where most of the Neuron officers have gathered with the hermits. The view captured the entirety of the room and almost everyone there was seated and chatting among themselves (both officers and hermits) or helping themselves to a buffet spread at the back, including Joey and Sarah. Our officers have absolutely zero sense of danger!

Music started playing and Marie appeared on stage wearing her Lappy mascot costume. I can't believe my brother got Marie in on this too.

When everyone's attention was drawn to the stage, Marie announced that the annual Neuron Quiz Show has begun. The screens at the front of the auditorium had turned on and there was a, admittedly stylish, cartoon picture of Lappy and a beast legion holding up a sign that says 'Neuron Quiz Show'.

The Neuron officers stared at Marie at the end of the announcement while the hermits gave a round of applause.

Rather than that, what did she mean by 'annual'?

Marie asked if there were any questions, many officers raised their hands. I will note down the questions and answers below:

Can we leave?  
No.

Is there a prize?  
Yes!

Where is Akira?  
She is currently unavailable.

Where is her brother then?  
He is currently unavailable as well.

Can I join your fanclub?  
I have a fanclub?

The person who asked the last question was pulled into the crowd. A minute later with no one raising their hands to ask questions, Marie moved on. Jin, I would recommend that everyone retake the course on effective communication and interrogation.

While the quiz show continued, my brother walked in and stood in front of the entrance of the holding cell beside Hal's drone. My brother promised that if I behaved (as in let him do whatever he wants today), he would answer all of my questions. I had to consider my options first.

In the end, I decided to agree to the deal. My brother is not the kind of person who would go back on his word and neither am I.

A few rounds of back and forth questions, to summarize, the situation is like this:

  1. My brother felt that everyone in Neuron has been working too hard and they all needed a break (he didn't count that time he accidentally cut the power in Neuron and everyone couldn't work because there was no power even from the backup generator)
  2. He asked his friends Kyle and Hal for suggestions and Hal suggested a trivia night. Trivia night suggestion escalated to a full-blown quiz show. The alcohol probably helped with that and Kyle (still) is an enabler.
  3. Kyle gathered all the hermits while Hal wrote the software.
  4. My brother cashed in every single favour the commander and Jin owed him (mainly saving the world and something about clearing cars) to get them to overlook the event.
  5. Marie owed him a favour (something about being a replacement and bug tester) so he got her to be the host of the quiz show.
  6. The guards owed him a favour (he saved them when on patrol back when chimeras were very active)

I admit, my brother has good intentions but his execution could use work. Jin, I need advice. What would dad do here?  
\---  
Re: Incident Report 0109XXXX

My apologies for ignoring you earlier. I was preoccupied.

Have you considered joining in?  
\---  
Re: Re: Incident Report 0109XXXX

Are you serious?  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Incident Report 0109XXXX

I'm serious. Join in, have fun for the day. Can you let your brother know that I will be dropping by later to join in as well? Also, remind him that the commander expects everything to be in order the next day.  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: Incident Report 0109XXXX

You're joining in? Who are you and what have you done to Jin?  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Incident Report 0109XXXX

Ha ha, very funny Akira, I'll see you two later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (Souhai_Eatery) Lappy gives Neuron a pop quiz.
> 
> This chapter escalated rather quickly when I wrote it.


	16. Title. Insert.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira shouldn't have been surprised. Really, she shouldn't have been.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: <insert date>  
Location of Incident: <insert location>

Hunt. Yes. Follow. Fight. Ride. Take. No. Ask. Do. Write? Obey. Write. Follow. Borrow. Yes. Write. Hunt. Complete. Partner. Hurt. Hunt. Destroy. Hurt. Partner. Hunt. Return. Hunt. No. Hurt. Return. Write. Complete. Send? Yes. Find. Send. Return.  
\---  
Re: <no title>  
Akira, are you okay? Do you need to take a break? Did your brother try to do you a favor and write the report he is supposed to be writing in the first place again? If so, is he okay?

~Jin  
\---  
Re: Re: <no title>

Fine. Yes. Comrade. Fine. Partner. Fine. Wake. Sleep. Soon. Sleep. Fine. Wake. Fine.  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: <no title>

Whoever is using the tablet, please return it to Akira.

~Jin  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: <no title>

Oh god, I am so sorry about the report, I'll redo them later.

My brother took a bad hit from a chimera during an investigation today and went down hard. I managed to take down the chimera but we were unable to continue with the investigation. I brought my brother back to headquarters and to the infirmary. As he was getting checked out by the medics, I went to find my tablet.

When I was unable to find my tablet at its usual location, I went back to my brother but he was still unconscious. The medics assured me that my brother would be fine and would wake up soon. As I was still unable to locate the tablet, I went back to the investigation site but was still unable to find the missing device. 

With nothing to show, I went back to headquarters and to the infirmary where I found my brother half-conscious directing his arm legion on writing the report with my tablet. The medics had long evacuated the area, leaving my brother alone with his legion and my tablet. I was frozen in shock at the sight until I heard a crack and the arm legion making a noise of displeasure. I tried reaching forward but the arm legion grabbed me and tossed me out of the infirmary.

It took a few hours before my brother passed out again and his legion handing my partially broken tablet back before dismissing itself.

Again, I am really sorry about the reports and I will discipline my brother once he wakes up.  
\---  
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: <no title>

I'll order a replacement for the device, please don’t let this happen again.

~Jin


	17. Exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Jin just wants one week without any incident, that is probably too much to hope for.

Officer name: Akira Howard  
Date of Incident: <insert date>  
Location of Incident: <insert location>

Akira wants you to know that if the incident happens again, she will be quitting Neuron and you will be left to deal with me without her help.

She makes it sound like it's a bad thing.

Me and sis are stuck in the supply closet again. Sis says it's the third time this month and we're only midway through the month. She also said that incidents like these are far too frequent to the point that she kept snacks in this very supply closet.

Maybe I should stash a set of uniforms here, it's pretty cold here. Maybe it's because I'm naked from the waist up.

Oh right! Sis made me write the report because she hopes that I would develop some form of responsibility. Jokes on her, dad and my axe legion had tried to no avail.

So anyway, back to the report, I had just finished taking a shower when I walked out to my beast legion shredding my clothes and making a bed out of it. I have no idea how my legion got out, I think it's because they are getting stronger. They are still bound by their chains though and can't move the legatus. So here I was without any spare clothes, staring at my legion as it looked at me with a smug face. I had ruined my last uniform when I fought a cerberus the other day and I can't use my sis ones. The only spare sets I could borrow are in the requisition office and the guys there are still holding a grudge from when I accidentally flooded their office when I tried to fix a leaking pipe.

So without any options left, I decided to see if I could borrow a spare uniform from the other officers. I walked out (with a towel to cover my modesty at least) after dismissing my legion and immediately bumped into Marie. She squealed, her face turned red, then she fainted. I had to catch her before she hit the ground. 

As I lowered Marie to the ground, still trying to remember all the first aid lessons on what to do with a fainted person, Alan came over running while screaming out Marie's name. He stopped in his tracks, stared at me then called me a pervert with the loudest voice he could muster. Then he cried about how unfair the world is when I stood up after releasing my hold on Marie. When I say 'cried', I meant that he really did cry with tears and all.

I tried to tell him that Marie fainted on her own and I was in no way responsible for it but he pulled out his baton and swung at me. My sword legion came out on his own and knocked the baton aside before slamming Alan into the wall, knocking him out.

So now I have two unconscious people to deal with. Luckily, before I could inevitably panic over what even is my life now, Akira came over after hearing the commotion. The moment she saw the two bodies on the ground, she sighed very loudly.

Then she looked at my state of dress and somehow sighed louder than before.

I didn't ask for this to happen!

Thankfully, Akira was willing to listen to my explanation. Unfortunately, a few more officers showed up, assumed the worst and drew their weapons on me. Akira fought them off alongside my sword legion but now the body count has tripled and I have no idea how to fix this.

Fortunately, my sister seemed to know what she’s doing as she dragged me away from the scene. Unfortunately, when we went around the corner, there was a group of female officers in front of us. The whole group screamed, a few of them fainted and some of them took out their phones to take pictures with a very creepy smile on their faces. Akira quickly dragged me away in the opposite direction from them but the group followed us, keeping up with our pace even as we both broke into a run.

We ran into Alicia as she was coming out of the elevator. She took one look at the mob behind us, returned into the elevator and shut the doors on us. Sis pulled me away as I was still trying to get over the betrayal and that was how we found ourselves in the supply closet. Again.  
\---  
Re: <no title>

Can you please, just, give me one week without anything happening in headquarters?

~Jin  
\---  
Re: Re: <no title>

I didn't ask for everything to happen either!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt: (Adamthepyromancer) Have we already done the beast legion summoning itself and grabbing the Legatus and running off while Akira is in the shower forcing him to run around naked/almost naked trying to grab it back from his legion? Bonus points if many pictures are taken from admiring coworkers  
\---  
So yeah, apologies for not updating this in a long while. The main reason is because I'm working from home since the pandemic and I only write fanfics when I'm commuting. No commute, no updates. Yeah, that's on me, sorry.
> 
> Anyway, some bad news, I won't be updating this fic. Maybe I might come back and add some new chapters but this fanfic is now completed. Thanks for sticking with me for this fic. It's been a wild ride (mainly for Akira) and I really enjoyed writing this fic.


End file.
